Fastened in the Doldrums of the Sky

Have you ever stood on a ledge of some kind, be it a bridge, tall building, cliff, etc, and had some inner urge to jump, to wonder what just jumping would be like? Perhaps you have experienced this and see it a certain way. For myself, it's a petrifying feeling. I don't ever want to walk away from the edge and get away from that feeling, yet I don't feel as though I could ever jump. It's like a strange sound carried in the wind that brushes your ears like dust on the mirror. It calls and and begs and you think you want to answer it but maybe you just like hearing it, if only for a while. I sometimes think my whole life is like that. Poised, ready at a moments notice, like a soldier with no war, I stand at attention in awe, unable to move, not sure of which way is the right way to go. I raise up my arms and close my eyes and lean forward and wait...

...and then it fades away.

Lightning Only Needs To Strike Once

Well it finally happened, my stereo shit the bed. I can only assume that nature's fury was the cause of this terrific tragedy, as thunder and lightning wrought havoc on my precious innocent valley town of townsend. I feel violated, as if this striking led to my little sony's demise, yet created a creature within me, as I attempt to sing and fill the void that this catastrophe has created and in doing so disrupted even my own sanity. Perhaps I could have ameliorated the whole situation with the purchase and implementation of yet another surge protector. I suppose I can try to harness the power of the speakers upstairs, by transfering them down to my computer but regardless, tis a sad day for music indeed. I will now devote myself to more time at my desk, with headphones and laptop. Even now, I glance over occasionaly at my fallen friend, my brother in ears, my hero, my Sony Compact Component system CMT-EX1 Copyright 1999 Sony Corporation 3-867-450-14(1), and in between my sessions of mourning I close my eyes and my ears sit beneath the great Porcupine Tree and follow on down to the valley below, as no more blue light beams from the buttons of my stereo's soul.

You Are Here----> "earth"

Ahhhh sitting here at my desk, up since 5am due to my inability to sleep I find myself searching for conversation...hello mike, why good morning, why thank you...

I was thinking of all the things there are to know in the world, I don't really know that much, my audial processing capabilities are cause for hours of preparation when trying to achieve anything that resembles something respectable in demonstration of competence, and not to forget, my memory is shit as well, but with all that said I know of one thing I know that is about the only thing If I could only pick one thing that I would ever want to know, no matter what separates what I know from the rest of the world, they'll never be able to answer the most commonly asked questions in the universe...you know what they are...any better than I and in the end it all boils down to one thing...who will be the best fertilizer of the great tomb? I've got a good shot...some lean muscle, plenty of fat, a nice amount of biodegradable product for mama earth...yeah...something like that...now back to precious sleep.

Always Shade for one more under Willa's Tree

I passed her on the stairs
I passed her by the quad
I saw her in the Library
And I asked her how she was doing each time
Each time she would reply "fine"
and so fine she was when she helped me out
and took time for me above and beyond
and fine she was when she lost her hair,
and choosing life over her job without a care
and when i had her class she became incapable of being there
could I have asked with more sincerity
or demaned it no less
did i remember to thank her
she knew how to bring out the best
well thats all over with now anyways
I havent passed her on the stairs
I havent passed her on the quad
I havent seen her in the library
and who will come in her place
to take over responsibility
take responsibility
and grant us satisfaction
my sympathy is no substitute for my inaction
thank you i say thank you if you can still hear me-
i will shout it out for you with my life.

Vacancy at Hotel Rwanda

Won’t you join US
We are UNified in our quest
Welcome to freedom
Welcome to the west

For whom else should I care
And where is my shame
Is it because I am white
That I think I’m not to blame

I see some film of the hotel
Where children hide under the bed
And when the film ends
I will turn away my head

Who am I but a young man
Whose war is fought for the old
Powerless as I feel
To devils my soul is bought and sold

Who will raise the children
Who have lost their mothers
They carry on the dreams of their fathers
And bury sisters and brothers

There’s room for me at the hotel
I could see it in my dreams so well
There’s room for you too
There’s always room in hell

I hope you enjoyed the film like me
And that you gave it your tears
A small dose of our sympathy
But never a minute of our many years

Someday maybe it will be my turn
To stay in a place that far gone
And Ill pray to God for help

And hold my breath till someone comes along.

Ode To My Aloof Sanity

Oh Selene Selene
Grant this poor poetaster rest
My beautiful night sky queen

If my thoughts make me not a venial son
Than I have stared into the lime kiln
And started a revolution of one

With wind whispering through willows awhile
And clovers carried from this garden not mine
Befuddled in my bile I will remain beguiled.

on a horse with no name

take me into the wild
where proenneke made his home
free me like a child
let me grow up this time all alone

i sat waitng for the blue jay
and the fox, the snake, the bear
they had already paved the way
and i hadn't even a care

from one that is cheap
to one that is inextricable
this poor song bird weeps
and now am i capable

what was i thinking when the mountain lifted me to the sky
is it at all possible for this to not be filled with lies

construction began on an october afternoon
but the first step of that was to tear down the old
rip out the rotten heart
and clear the foundation of mold

tell me now you who are wise
those elders who lived before
did you live with lies
were you just a whore

by now you are wondering
is he serious or insane
is there a plot here lurking
or are you being led to be lame

this was all a bit forced and unnatural to perform
so excuse this time spent away from my norm

If One Day You Should Wake And Find The Wolrd Gone Keep Holding Your Breath And I'll Be Along